Taso the Greek’s “Bumpin’ Heads 2008″

Special thanks to www.onlineworldofwrestling.com for the results:

# INTERNET HEAT TAPINGS: …

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# IN THE RING: Lilian Garcia says tonight marks the return of the KING OF THE RING TOURNAMENT..

# KOTR ROUND #1: Chris Jericho defeated Montel Vontavious Porter by Submission..

# KOTR ROUND #1: C.M. Punk defeated Matt Hardy..

# GIMMICK: They showed a clips of SD! vs. RAW game where they created Hilary Clinton & Barack Obama characters..

# KOTR ROUND #1: Fit Finlay defeated The Great Khali by DQ after Khali wrapped Finlay’s knee around the ring post!

* The Big Show came down after the match and The Great Khali circled the ring and backed up the ramp to escape..
* A crew of referees and Hornswoggle had to help Fit Finlay backstage because of his severely injured knee..

# KOTR ROUND #1: William Regal defeated Hornswoggle by Submission with the Regal-stretch..

* General Manager William Regal came out and they announced that his first round opponent would be Hornswoggle!
* Hornswoggle, who was helping Papa Finlay up the ilse, came to the ring and almost immediately lost by Submission..
* Fit Finlay limped back to check on Hornswoggle, only to have his knee assaulted by the callous William Regal..

# IN THE RING: Shawn Michaels + Batista..

* Shawn Michaels said he had one question to ask Batista and asked him to “come on down” to the ring..
* Shawn Michaels asked Batista if it was true that Batista wanted to be the man to wrestle Ric Flair at WrestleMania..
* Batista said he was sick and tired of talking about told Shawn Michaels “At Backlash…. I’m gonna finish this”..
* Shawn Michaels said he is everything Batista says he is - and he will do whatever it takes to win at Backlash..
* Shawn Michaels then told Batista “Good luck… you’re gonna need it” - and actually shook hands with Batista..
* Batista grinned and walked past Shawn Michaels, bumping shoulders, and left Michaels standing in the ring..

# ELECTION SPEECH: Hillary Clinton (the REAL Hillary Clinton) cut a promo laced with clever WWE-related comments..

# MATCH: Carlito Cool w/Santino Marella defeated Hardcore Holly w/Cody Rhodes..

* Santino Marella ran his mouth after the match and Cody Rhodes got fired up and kicked them out of the ring!

# PROMO: Triple H cut a promo saying he will emerge from the Elimination match at Backlash as the WWE Champion..

# KOTR SEMI-FINAL: C.M. Punk defeated Chris Jericho to advance to the Finals..

# ELECTION SPEECH: Barack Obama (the REAL Barack Obama) cut a promo and said “Do You Smell What Barack is cookin’?”..

# KOTR SEMI-FINAL: William Regal defeated Fit Finlay by referee stoppage after Regal focused on Finlay’s injured knee..

# ELECTION SPEECH: John McCain (the REAL John McCain) cut a promo and said “Finally the Mac has come back to Greenville”..

* John McCain used the “To be the man, ya gotta beat the man” line and “Come November, it will be GAME OVER”..
* The hilarious John McCain added “Watcha gonna do when John McCain and his McCainiacs run wild on you!”
* John McCain cut the longest and best speech with the most wrestling references out of all three candidates..

# PROMO: John Cena cut a promo about the main event Elimination match at Backlash for the WWE Championship..

# PRESIDENTIAL SMACKDOWN: Hillary Clinton w/Bill Clinton vs. Barack Obama ended in a No Contest..

* A Hillary Clinton impersonator came out with a goofy Bill Clinton impersonator to “Real American” music..
* Then a Barack Obama impersonator came out to the Rock’s entrance music shaking and slapping fans hands..
* Barack Obama cut a promo on the Clinton’s and then yelled “If ya smellelelelelel what Barack is Cookin’!
* The match finally started and they were obviously trained wrestlers but I don’t know who - LEXIE FYFE?
* Barack Obama hit the Rock Bottom and went for the People’s Elbow but was tripped up by Bill Clinton..
* Both presidential candidates were knocked down and suddenly Umaga made his way down to the ring..
* Bill Clinton helped Hillary Clinton into the corner, while Umaga gave Barack Obama the Samoan Spike!
* Bill Clinton got spooked by Umaga’s war-cry and retreated while Hillary Clinton a Samoan drop!

# IN THE RING: Maria & Ashley & Michelle & Kelly & Cherry + NEW WWE Women’s Champion Mickie James..

* Maria Kanellis led the WWE Divas to the ring to celebrate Mickie James’ title victory over Beth Phoenix last week!
* Mickie James came out and thanked the Divas saying it was a perfect example of never give up and never say never..
* Beth Phoenix crashed the party with Melina Perez, Jillian Hall, Victoria and Natalya Neidhart standing behind her..
* Beth Phoenix said the question isn’t if she will win the WWE Women’s title back, it’s WHEN she will win IT back..
* Beth Phoenix insulted Mickie James’ crew, and Michelle McCool slapped Beth Phoenix, leading tO DIVA CHAOS!!

# KOTR FINALS: William Regal defeated C.M. Punk by Submission to become the 2008 WWE King of the Ring!!!

# 8-MAN TAG: Edge & Chavo Guerrero & JBL & Randy Orton defeated The Undertaker & Kane & John Cena & Triple H..

* WWE Champion Randy Orton came out and bragged about each of his successful WWE Championship defenses..
* After the match: John Cena FU’d Edge. JBL gave HHH a Lariat. Orton RKO’d Cena. Taker chokeslammed Orton & JBL!

I don’t normally recap television unless there’s something good going down but I hope I can find time to throw a quick thought or two out there if my personal time permots. William Regal as King of the Ring sounds like a good idea to me. Why does my heart, however, feel this isn’t going to really go anywhere? Nonetheless, Regal proved again he is one of the most underated in-ring wrestlers in a world wide promotion. His match with Finlay and CM Punk were very short but in those 5-7 minutes they got in some good shit, some stiff shots, and worked a real strong style match. I’ll watch Regal vs. almost anyone of they give him anything in the match.

If you erase the presidential bullshit (except Umaga), the Diva mess, and completely eradicate Holly & Rhodes from those extra brain cells you might need down the line, this was a strong card with a good main event. The right guy got pinned, everyone got their shit in, and it sent us off to Backlash with the right vibe.

All except for John Cena’s promo. What a fucking joke. Is HHH trying to emasculate the guy and make him look like a total lame-ass? Gotta be the deal, because Cena was a promo machine 3-4 years ago and his shit now is garbage.